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Old 12-06-2001, 01:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
Join Date: Nov 16 2000
Location: Huntsville, Alabama
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How many of you find yourself putting other peoples needs/wants before your own? Here is why I ask: My aunt Arlene had been taking care of my uncle Louie who had prostate(?) cancer for about 6 - 8 months. She never left his side while he was sick. He passed away in early Sept. The entire time she was taking care of him she was not taking good care of herself. She griped many times about her "ulcers". After, complaining from Sept. til Dec. she fainted last Monday and was took to the hospital. She was admitted immediately. She was diagonised with cancer (eat up with it basically). She passed away this morning about 3 a.m. I can't help but think that if she would have took just a minute for herself and gone to the doctor she would have known alot sooner that she didn't have an ulcer but cancer instead then maybe they could have treated her. I am not blaming my uncle Louie by no means just thought about how she always put him before herself. Now, they have 3 children (all over 30) who have lost both their parents in less than 6 months. So just a note to everyone be sure not to neglect yourself in your time of helping others.
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Old 12-06-2001, 01:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Candy, I am so sorry for your losses. First your Uncle and now your Aunt. My condolences for your entire family.

I know exatly what you mean. It happened to my grandparents also. My grandfather had been sick for several months before he died. My grandmother hadn't felt well but didn't feel she could take time away from his bedside for her own dr visits and tests.

2 weeks after my grandfather passed away, she finally went to the dr. She had cancer of the esophogaus (sp?) She had surgery and chemo but died just 8 months later.

Had she just gone to the dr. when she first started feeling bad, she might have been able to catch it in time to stop it. As it was, I lost both my grandparents within 9 months of each other. And my children were cheated from knowing a sweet and wonderful person who I treasured deeply. That was 20 years ago and I still miss both of them a great deal.

Yes, it is good to take care of your family, but you also need to take care of yourself. So your family won't lose YOU too early!
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Old 12-06-2001, 01:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I know it's very difficult to lose family members so close together. I am deeply sorry for your loss. There is perhaps a side to this that maybe you don't see. It sounds like they were very much in love. It also sounds like he was her entire world and she couldn't bear the thought of living without him. It is not uncommon for spouses who are so deeply in love to follow one another to grave. Again I am sorry... but honey, at least they are togther. She is with her husband now forever. Sounds like an amazing woman to me. I can only hope we all find a love like that...
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Old 12-06-2001, 02:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Becky and Bronze Star- Thank you ladies for the kind words.
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Old 12-06-2001, 02:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My condolences and blessings sent your way during the holiday season.
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Old 12-07-2001, 07:38 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Candy, I am so sorry and can surely understand how you feel. My dad died of cancer 14 years ago and my mom never left his side either. she ended up losing over 30 pounds. She was a widow at 41 years old and has never dated nor remarried. My Dad was her love of a lifetime and she says to this day that when he died, a part of her went with him. Your Aunt and Uncle are together and they no longer have to suffer. My prayers are with you and your family.
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Old 12-09-2001, 05:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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On 2001-12-06 13:35, CandyBridges wrote:
How many of you find yourself putting other peoples needs/wants before your own?

The Bible says that love is long suffering and kind. Im sure your aunt would still have taken care of your uncle even after being diagnosed, but you are right that she should have checked with a doctor. Im not sure I would have though. I would probably have done exactly what she did. I also bet your uncle would've done the same if the roles were reversed.
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